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SOUR GRAPES,
An Original Love Poem after the Verse of Catullus
Understand, I always liked that guy, Herb.
Let's just say, I was fond of him.
I respected him as a colleague.
Yet now, my once good feelings for him have nosedived.
Of course, I was attracted to you,
Hey, your allure, it tempted me!
The way you stood,
You naturally knew how to complement your height.
You made yourself demure, such poise.
You bent your left knee slightly forward,
Then tilted your shoulders from the waist
Settling them downwards just a smidgen to the right.
And that smile of yours, allow me to say it,
You were gorgeous, and I always favored a brunet.
Not to forget your intelligence, hands down,
You, why you were the smartest woman I had ever met!
Nonetheless, propriety required I not make a move.
I was Herb's friend,
How would you expect me to behave?
And you must recall?
You do remember, don't you?
No doubt about it, I had been otherwise engaged,
Let's just say, I was a very busy man!
You might not have realized my busyness's full extent;
Facts are, I had been occupied on too many fronts.
I know. I know. I missed the bus.
The train had left the station. I had my chance.
Passed on what very well might have been...
Good Lord, when I think about it, the splendid opportunities,
How had I allowed so much to go by,
Happiness and achievement, the years of them!
Look. I am putting this on record. The facts are the facts.
It had not been my fault, I swear!
It was that Herb, he had blocked my way,
He puffed himself up and proudly took the stance,
Made it clear that silly me, you were his.
Believe me! I still picture this moment, today.
I do not really care for the fellow anymore,
Even the thought of him bothers me.
I don’t even like repeating his name.
Yet now it amounts, my feelings unchanged,
And as you have already told me, it is forty years later!
I want it known, the world to know,
Now and forever, my regret,
How could I have missed the chance --
That I might have shared love and time with you,
Too much to bear. but please, understand!
Just gimmie a break. Don’t blame me!
I swear to it! It was him. He stood in my way.
Though once a friend,
I really have no regard for that guy anymore, zero, no,
Not a bit. The thought of him gets my stomach sick.
By the way, given one of my chief faults of character,
I am unlikely to hear of any ameliorating circumstance.
I do not even wish to repeat his name.
