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SOUR GRAPES,
An Original Love Poem Styled after Catullus,
Rewrite
Understand, I always liked that guy, Herb,
Let’s just say, I was fond of him,
I respected him as a colleague.
Yet now, it is decades later;
My once good feelings for him have nosedived.
I mean one thing, certain, I felt, you were his gal.
Of course, I was attracted to you,
Hey, your allure, it tempted me!
The way you stood, it complemented your height,
Made you demure, such poise, left knee bent forward,
Your shoulders tilted,
You brought your right shoulder down to the side.
And that smile, I shall say it,
You were gorgeous, and I always favored a brunet.
Not to forget your intelligence, hands down,
You, why you were the smartest woman I had ever met!
Nonetheless, propriety required I not make a move.
I was Herb’s friend,
How would you expect me to behave?
And you must recall -- I know you remember --
I had been otherwise engaged, busy.
And though you might not have realized
My busyness’s full extent,
I was too occupied on too many fronts,
And that had done me no real good
So far as my being with you was concerned.
I know. I know. I missed the bus.
The train had left the station. I had my chance.
Passed on what very well might have been.
God, when I think about it, the splendid opportunity,
Allowed them all to go by, life and happiness, years of it!
Let’s get it straight, the facts are the facts.
It had not been my fault, I swear!
It was that Herb, he had blocked my way,
He puffed himself up and proudly took the stance,
Made it clear that for all intent and purpose you were his.
I do not really care for the fellow anymore,
Even the thought of him bothers me.
I do not like repeating his name,
Yet now it amounts, how time flies,
It amounts to more than three decades later!
I want it known, world to know,
Now and forever, my regret,
That I had missed the splendid opportunity,
Love and life with you, please,
Understand! It had not been my fault,
I swear! He stood in my way.
Though once a friend,
I do not really care for that guy anymore, no,
Not a bit. I do not even wish to repeat his name.
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