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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

WITHOUT YOU, Geroge St. Heartbreak

George St. Heartbreak

I am sick with rheum and aches,
And a congestion of the lungs.
I cough constantly.

Insomnia stains my eye sockets, like charcoal,
And for the first time in my life
I actually look older than my real age.

Years ago, when still a child
I read auguries in the snarled pattern of clouds,
And practiced divination in how snow
Accumulated to subtle difference of height
On the post rails surrounding the corral.

I watched the frozen breathe of horses,
Looking for some hope of bliss but abstracted
Solely gloom and heart brake.

Today, desperate and preoccupied, I try
To pick out the future from the way
Antennae wire twists against the white walls,
And falls up and down
Along the molding in my bedroom.

All omens promise bad luck.

My mind has fallen into moat
And bad mood has dungeoned me.

I keep to the apartment all day,
Flipping over playing cards,
Looking for my destiny every time,
A queen of hearts appears from the deck.

It's going okay tonight, not too bad.

"Stanley, don’t be wearin’ that stickpin
Opals are always considered unlucky!"

My luck isn't very good as it is.
I don't think me wearing an opal
Changes the out come of life that much.

No eulogy for this affair of heart.
No photographs left here for me to remember us.

I see no people down the street to witness
Me drive off in the Ford alone.

Rain and cold, happy couples walk the avenues
Huddling close, tight, one to another.

Your name has been deleted from the speed dial.
It has vanished from my computer screen.

I guess these musings are the closest
It may ever come to a biography of us.

I must wonder if this whole fantastic romance,
I once imagined, amounts to no more, now,
Than footnote in this big book of my own.

No children will be named for us,
Not that you wanted it anyhow,
The children being named after either you or me.

No admission will ever be charged
For entrance to the home where we once lived,
Spoke ardently of love one for the other,
And I tempted verse to celebrate us for the ages.

And despite all the noise coming from the street,
All the appointments I have to keep this evening,
I can only lie on the floor and look to the ceiling.

The light is going out of my eyes.

Some people want every thing,
Lots of people want it all.
I just want you, your love, dear,
When life goes on without you,
I've got nothing at all!

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